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I had to play a joke on the maid at a hotel where I was staying. You know that little paper wrapper they place over the toilet seat Mario Edwards Jr Limited Jersey , that thin paper band that is supposed to convince you that the facility is clean. You normally take the paper band off and throw it away when you go to use the john. Instead, I saved mine and each morning before leaving the room slipped it back on the toilet seat, giving the impression I never used it.


After day five of this I could only imagine the maid's reaction.


Staring, she said, ?What are you, some kind of a lizard??


To me Jared Cook Limited Jersey , bathrooms are like Greek temples, made of stone and cool marble, reassuring, serene, little worlds of their own, a place of refuge Latavius Murray Limited Jersey , shut away from the world and its problems.


Such places thus earn the more dignified name of 'rest room.?


For example, if you hate your dead-end job, and you share a communal bathroom down the hall with the employees of other companies in the building, chances are you'll spend more time here than you should, away from a threatening, dishonest boss Marcus Sherels Limited Jersey , ringing phones and mountains of paperwork.


I admit I'm selfish. When I use the communal john, I want it all to myself---alone.


I also don't want my imitation Greek temple sullied. Therefore, I never perform major bodily functions here (the only time I ever did I was sick).


There's this guy. Every morning at 8:45 a.m. he's seated on the throne. Now, I fully know this is not a common subject for a column, and I don't want you to think I'm strange. But I'm truly curious about this guy, perplexed Nick Easton Limited Jersey , baffled, whatever.


Since it's only 8:45 in the morning, he can't have been at work very long, not much more than an hour. Why can't he hold it longer? Why can't he do his disgusting business at home before he comes to work?


What does he do, process food like a goose?


Now, we all drink coffee Erik McCoy Limited Jersey , which I admit goes through you pretty fast. So I'm not against use of the john for small calls of nature. But I'm thinking of posting a sign, which reads, ?This Facility Used for Minimal Body Functions Only.?


Don't foul my Greek temple with your digesting bowels.


More bathroom palacial.


Bathrooms like restaurants should be rated in travel books as to how good they are. For instance, we've all seen gas station bathrooms in truck stops on Labor Day where the unflushed facility hasn't been cleaned and the globs of stuff in there are so putrid you think they may reach out and grab you.


Such places assign us lower on the scale of evolution.


Disgusting!


Then there are bathrooms like the one I saw at Pebble Beach Resort. The heart soars. You could eat off the floor. Little, moist cloth towels hanging from silver trays for cleaning your hands. Embossed toilet paper. Gleaming brass and silver fixtures.


A dream come true.


I was in tears.


? Copyright 2004 by


When Bad Things Happen Self Help Articles | February 24, 2003
It is easy to be spiritually positive and philosophicalabout life when things are going well. Even when exposed tolife?s misfortunes from a distance--distant relatives oracquaintances--it?s fairly eas...


It is easy to be spiritually positive and philosophical
about life when things are going well. Even when exposed to
life?s misfortunes from a distance--distant relatives or
acquaintances--it?s fairly easy to conclude that life is
bringing them the experiences appropriate to their lives.
But what do we do when misfortune strikes close to home Alvin Kamara Limited Jersey ,to
us or to our immediate family? And how are we to react to
misfortune from several directions all at once?

What are the secrets to surviving and thriving in the midst
of life circumstances and situations which seem unfair and
undeserved? Our ability to deal successfully in such
situations is the key to peace and calm--the joyous life.

My initial reaction to bad events is to take action-do
something. But the key is not what to do, but who to be.
Life is bringing the circumstances we face for a reason. You
may not understand the reason immediately--maybe not for
some time. But assume there is a reason and it is the
perfection of life, so embrace it.

Then step back and observe what is happening from a
distance. Pretend it is one year later and you are looking
back at the current situation. Remember that this is not the
end of the world--you are an immortal soul and what is
happening is simply the experience of human life.

Listen to the story your mind is telling you about what is
happening. Is it an oft-repeated theme? Are you being
victim, loser, struggler, martyr Marshon Lattimore Limited Jersey , or villain? Is this a
script you have written and played out before, perhaps many
times? What payoff accrues to you from living within this
story? Be honest. There is a payoff to an often repeated
story line, or you wouldn?t be living it over and over.

Maybe this isn?t about your story. Maybe you are merely a
supporting character in someone else?s story. What gifts can
you bring to the situation?

Be aware of who you are being in response to what is
happening. Are you fearful, angry, vengeful, or depressed?
Are you distant Tre'Quan Smith Limited Jersey , supportive, loving, or helpful? Ask
yourself. "Is this who I am?" and "Is this who I choose to
be?" Maybe you do choose to be angry, fearful, or depressed
for a time, but keep it short. Consciously realize you are
being as you are Marcus Davenport Limited Jersey , and when you?ve had enough of that state
then choose another state of being that is more
representative of your highest self.

Recognize that the Universe brings you circumstances you
consciously or subconsciously call forth. Do these
circumstances allow you to continue the story that describes
who you think you are? Or do these circumstances give you a
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